Regret is undoubtedly the worst feeling in the world.
I let the only girl I've ever loved slip away a long time ago and it haunts me to this day. I can never seem to fight the urges to tell her at the worst times. I guess the easiest thing to do would be to cut all ties, but I could never do that. How unfair to her. And how pathetic of me.

I need to keep my mouth shut.

January 2006 was the last time I wrote in here. I suppose I am, indeed, a lurker more than anything. I rarely let it be known that I am here, but I am here.

What have I done in the last two years?
Gone to shows.
Visited Toronto more often than not.
Visited Montreal more often than not.
Joined a band, for fun. We jam more than anything. Maybe one day we will take it seriously.
Definitely haven't cut my hair. I mean, I've cut it, but I haven't grown up to the point where I've cut it short.
No business here, folks. The shag lives.

hope everyone had a happy new years.

i spent the night funneling beers with the bushwacked dudes from work at some houseparty.
"up north" life is good times.

just getting ready for a busy summer of building cottages and sweating my ass off.
i want to go to Montreal but i doubt that will happen. not enough time.

you know what depresses me? i can't remember the last time i attended a concert. it just may have been silverchair 2003. fucking sad.

i need to get out more and visit the city or something.

December always triggers nostalgia for me. I miss so many things from back at home.
The people, the scenery, the feeling. This will sound very pussy, but there are some songs I really hate listening to because they are songs for there not here and i'm here, not there.

HOCKEY TONIGHT!

big branch falling on my truck = no good.

wow it sure has been a while since i've written in this thing. i'm still living in bracebridge and i do enjoy it. i'm thankful we didn't move to a big city or anything like my dad had originally planned. i still miss cooks mills though. and i mean ever since i moved out of cooks mills i've missed it but i was always nearby so i could take a drive around in there and remember all the good times but now it's just too far away.
i also miss my friends. because of work i haven't had a chance to go down and visit the gang much. some of them do come up here once in a while, but i'd really like to make it back down to niagara for a stint. as weird as that may seem hehe.
i have met some cool people here though. i guess i was seeing a girl for a bit but it sucks because i pretty much know exactly what i want in a girl and if i can't find exactly that i lose interset very fast. that and i guess i'm not over my one true teenage lust that i never had the balls to ask out i guess because we are such great friends :)

i'm making chicken wings tonight for the first time, me and my borther are going to have a contest and experiment lol. my dad says he'll be the judge.

so i moved to bracebridge and you know its actually not that bad...

I'm moving to Bracebridge at the end of this month.
I never wanted to leave Cooks Mills, let alone Niagara.
Too many good things here.
Many good memories.
I guess that's relaly all they are now.

i'm so tired right now. what else is new? lol.
at least i'm starting to have a sense of humour about it.

so since my last pissed off post i have decided that i shouldn't care about someone who fucks up their life on their own when they had many chances to fix it themselves. at first i thought because its family...i HAVE to care. i guess thats because im such a family oriented guy. but after talking with Dana last night about some stuff she made me realize that just because its family, it doesnt mean that you have to care. since she's in a similar situation and she recently stopped caring copmletely about someone who she was once close with in her family....it made me realize its ok. you can only try to help people so much. and if they aren't willing to change their filthy habits and ways, she put it well..."fuck'em".
and fuck. you dont pick your family members so if there are some you dont like for similar reasons, roll with it.
just because someone, who happens to be an incredible loser and low-life, is family....doesn't mean you have to continue to bend over backwards for them because they are "blood". maybe some people would disagree but when you go through it...you gain a different perspective.
there's always "one" in the family, or several sometimes, who is a screw up. and i say, if they won't take your offers to help or your advice then ... well..have fun dealing with it on your own!

my entries are so messy. i dont even think about what i type or how i type.....<--- all of these random dots here and there. lol. sometimes i read abck and think.. wow dan, you sound like a tool. people who dont know you, are going to think you're a tool.

but........since when do i care.. .. . . . . . random dots.

i'm in a weird mood. too much sleep.
so the summer is gone and i'm still ill.
oh wellllll.

my dad is taking me out for lunch today. me and my brother, actually. mom's working. so, that will be fun. i miss restaurant smell. i cant wait :)